brian stoll

Brian Stoll
On what it means to drop your armour

Season: 1 / Episode: 11

Welcome to our special end-of-year episode, where Neha talks with past colleague and current professional peer Brian Stoll. Together they reflect on what it means to them to drop your armor – at work, at home, and with friends. As part of this conversation, they also dig into sharing on social media, “emotionally unloading” to our friends and loved ones, perfectionism, psychological safety, and how all these different things can support, block, and degrade true vulnerability.

Useful resources for this episode

Bruk, A. (1 November 2021) Other people don’t think you’re a mess. Scientific American.

Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115(2), 192–205.

Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2022). You and I both: Self-compassion reduces self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 48(7), 1054-1067.

Forest, A. L., Kille, D. R., Wood, J. V., & Holmes, J. G. (2014). Discount and disengage: How chronic negative expressivity undermines partner responsiveness to negative disclosures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 107(6), 1013–1032.

Grant, A., & Brown, B. (2021). Taken for granted: Brené Brown on what vulnerability isn’t. TED.com podcast.

Rosh, L., & Offermann, L. (October 2013). Be yourself, but carefully. Harvard Business Review.

As always please send your feedback to droppingyourarmour@atrain.com

Neha